No One Will Give It To You
I find myself feeling defeated at times when things do not go as planned. I start having a pity party and the following thoughts go through my mind:
- You didn’t study enough
- You didn’t work hard enough
- You aren’t smart enough
- You are a fraud
- Everyone else knows more than you
- You aren’t pretty enough
- You aren’t skinny enough
- You aren’t as special as the others
And within minutes, I have a heavy feeling in my chest and a lump in my throat and I feel defeated. I start feeling like I want to shrink into myself and not try anymore. I feel sad and I feel like a failure. Do you ever get this feeling when things do not happen to you as planned?
It took me years to learn how to break this downhill spiral when I became disappointed. As a woman who wants to have a successful career as well as be a caring and loving wife and mother, the world can find ways to drop boulders on your self-confidence a lot of times. These boulders have taught me that I have to learn how to maneuver out of their way! And should I get squashed by one, I need to figure out how to swiftly lift its weight off of me. The boulders do not care if I feel defeated or if it takes me longer to get to my destination than I planned. It is not their desire to help me reach my goal but to stifle my energy and enthusiasm.
When these boulders rain down on me and I start to have negative self-talk, I have learned to remind myself that no one is going to give me anything! To some boulders, I pose a threat to crumbling their world so their survival instinct is to try and squash me. If a boulder misses me, it will solicit other boulders to join their quest to stop me – thinking that a group effort will be will do the trick!
If I am hit, I feel like a failure! I feel defeated! UNTIL I remember to remind myself again that I AM ENOUGH and that I AM A THREAT and that NO ONE is going to give me any handouts. I have to be strong and keep my eyes on the prize. It is not my problem that the boulders don’t want me to succeed. It is their problem that they do not want to gather together and lift me up!
So on the days then I am feeling like I want to retreat, I tell myself:
- You are smart enough!
- You are pretty enough!
- You are strong enough!
- You are fast enough!
- You decide your destiny – not them!
When boulders get in your way, decide what you want and figure out how to get it in spite of them blocking you! The path may not be a straight one, but it is your path none the less. We are all boulders – no boulder is any better than the other. However, how you choose to roll defines if you will stand strong or crumble.
The survival instinct is powerful and it will drive others to try and squash you because they do not understand that working for the greater good of others is the ultimate success story for everyone. To some, stopping your progress is subliminal because it’s the only way they know to survive. To others, stopping your progress is purposeful because they are not confident enough in themselves to make it on their own merits. They believe that making you look less of a success makes them shine. This strategy may work for the time being but in the long run it will become apparent! You stay diligent, focused, prayerful, and determined and, trust me, you will rise above the negative boulders and walk over them on your way to the top!